I want to be a kind person. A person who sees the good in everybody. It just so happens that I live with two people who test my patience, sanity and my ability to love everybody.
I’ve never been an angry person before, but these people get under my skin. I found myself tossing and turning this morning in bed with anger, I wanted to scream at them and throw their things out the house. I couldn’t be happy spending time with my boyfriend because I was so angry with my housemates that I had this contagious, sour mood. I resent myself for taking my boyfriend for granted sometimes. He is the sweetest person.
How do you love someone when you hate them so much? I recognise that a major part of my frustration with my housemates is my inability to control them. I can’t make them clean up, to keep their possession in their own spaces, to acknowledge my presence. I can’t say anything to change their behaviour or like me more. To some extent I even feel I’m exhausted with kindness. How do you continually be nice to people who shut you off and pretend you don’t exist? Who don’t value your voice?
Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will be kind, resilient and strong. I will let things go and recognise that I can’t control other people. Maybe my situation isn’t fair and I should speak up, or maybe I should just be happy with what I’ve got and love my housemates despite our grievances.
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